Oh, NPR, you’re validating all of my hopes and dreams: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=122612096

I’m no hairy-armpitted militant feminist screaming for equality now, but this article makes my modest bosom swell with pride, mostly because it’s reflective of a trend I’ve been aware of since entering the working world. Gone are the days of frumpy power suits, the she-male, and sworn vow never to have children in the ranks of successful women. In fact, if anything, I’ve noticed that being a woman gives a distinct interview advantage in more male-dominated industries. Subtle as it was, there was certainly a desire to recruit highly ambitious females into the ranks of financial firms, if only because it looks good to investors to have women in management positions. Suddenly, companies are offering family benefits like daycare and maternity/paternity leave as if to scream, “WE DON’T UNDERSTAND YOUR HORMONES BUT WE ADMIRE YOUR ABILITY TO MULTI-TASK! HAVE A CHILD! HAVE AN ARMY OF THEM! BUT STAY WITH OUR COMPANY INSTEAD OF GOING TO THE COMPETITION BECAUSE WE NEED WOMEN HERE!” Whatever the motivation for this shift, I say, thanks, don’t mind if I do.

I’ve oft quipped that I’m going to marry my first husband for his money (okay, gentle readers, that’s a JOKE…. I’m not as heartless as my last entry apparently suggests). In reality, though, I’ve got a strong personality and a problem with being the submissive member of any relationship. What’s more likely is what I told my grandma when she told me I could always learn to love a rich man: nah, I’ll just make my own fortune. If I’m really honest, when I fantasize vaguely about a future marriage, I get immense joy from picturing a relationship where I very much hold my own as an equal or greater contributor to our assets rather than a shoe-fetish-motivated drain on the bank account. And here’s the thing: I have no doubt about what my future holds.

What I really like about this article is that it’s proof of the critical juncture at which we find ourselves in the history of women’s rights: for women, our limitations are now mostly self-imposed.

Okay, I can feel a certain type of feminist friend squirming at those words. After all, the number of men in leadership positions still outnumbers the number of women. Fine. But I’d venture a guess that that’s not because organizations are actively keeping women down.

The limitation comes from choices we all have to make. What’s our main motivation? What do we want? And what makes us happy? If it’s a high-powered career in business, then that will come first, and we’ll find our road not easy, because few paths to meaningful goals are ever totally easy, but mostly unblocked from a gender perspective. But if it’s raising a family, or making a difference in our communities, or writing a book, then we’ll pursue those ends instead of the business career, and, remarkably (I know), NOT end up as a high-powered business leader. As women, we’re good multi-taskers, but we can’t have it all at once. Even without sleep, we can’t be full-time moms, award winning authors, and high-powered executives all at the same time. Guess what?  Men can’t do all of those things at once either.  And guess what else?  They aren’t wrapped up in trying.

What we have is a choice to define what it is that we want, and then do what we need to do to get it. It’s a choice that all of us, women and men, should consciously make. And when we make that choice, we should remember what Mae West said: Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but she did it backwards and in high heels. Women can do everything that men can, and they can do it with their own style.

The TRULY exciting thing about this shift is that gender roles within the household are grayer: the rise of the sugar mama shows that the choice to have a family no longer relies on a woman sacrificing her career if it’s not what she wants; there are plenty of men out there willing to rise to the family-rearing challenge. This is bound to terrify some women’s liberators: our last excuse for not achieving our goals is on the outs. But for those of us confident in our talents and human abilities, it presents an unlimited wealth of choice from which to craft our ideal life.

The best way to break through the glass ceiling is to not acknowledge its existence, choosing to actively pursue goals rather than let fate take over. Time to pull a Henry David Thoreau and go confidently in the direction of our dreams. No excuses, play like a champion.