Archive for September, 2008

It’s been 2 months in the foreign land of New York City so it’s time for an update.

2 months ago I ditched my fun job and the great American west for the cold hard streets of New York City.  I did this eagerly and with conviction.  In addition to gaining skillz for a fulfilling career, I had an intuition that I needed to go to New York and the world of finance to find balance.  So it seems appropriate to take a moment to reflect and ask:  where am I now?

Geographically, I’m spending my 2-month life change anniversary in East Greenville, PA.  You’ve never heard of it, right?  I hadn’t either.  They don’t even have a Starbucks (but Walmart, yes, so I guess they’re on the map).  In East Greenville, PA, I grudgingly get up at 6:30 am, pray that my shower is working (I thought the East Coast was more civilized), and drag my ass to my consulting client site by 7:30.  At the client site, I’m confined to a windowless room where I “crunch numbers” (I have learned that this is a fancy phrase for “look at an excel spreadsheet”) and deal with requests from my superiors like:  “Can you make a set of 3×5 notecards so when I’m doing my executive interviews I can lay them out and the person can point at the issue that’s most important to them?”  My response to this is, “Yes, of course, what a wonderful idea.”  What I actually mean by that is “Is this fucking kindergarten?  Do you think the executives of this company need 3×5 call out notecards to tell you what the issues they face are?”  And then I use my problem-solving skills that this consulting firm hired me for to figure out where the hell I’m going to print 3×5 notecards in East Greenville, PA.  At night, I go back to my hotel long after the sun has set, defiantly order a bottle of wine for myself on the company credit card (small victories), and continue to “crunch numbers” until my nightly 10:30 pm call with India about the “number crunching” they’re doing.
And what are we accomplishing?  Good question.  We’re assessing a company’s supply chain.  Oh, but we won’t actually tell them how to fix it.  We’ll just give them options.  Most of which they’ll actually give us through informational interviews.  We’ll also give them this vague thing called “data analysis” to back up those options.  But not the actual data analysis, just a powerpoint slide explaining the findings of the data analysis.  Because everyone knows numbers are boring.  I know it more than anyone.  I look at them all day long.
So I’m gaining skillz.  I’m getting really good at passing off bull shit requests.  I’m also getting really good at pretending like I know what “data analysis” is.  And biting my lip until it bleeds so I don’t burst out laughing at some of the inane comments I hear.  Because smiling’s not allowed, particularly in a situation when your fearless leader is asking you for something.  So part one of goal of moving to New York?  Check.  Now what about the balance?
When I pictured balance, I imagined me with a happy and healthy outlook on life, feeling fulfilled and like I was on the right track.  Measures of this balance would come in scenes I dreamed about, like me meandering through the farmer’s market with flowers in my hair, bag over my shoulder, and little squirrels and birds following after me while I sang to them.  Or me sitting in my room with the exposed brick wall listening to Billie Holiday on vinyl while sipping a glass of wine and contemplating life accomplishments.  There may have also been a pictured scene of me walking alone down the middle of a Manhattan street while smiling radiantly because I’ve got the world on a string.  Naturally, a famous photographer would see this, snap a black and white photo, and my self-contented bliss would become an icon for balance in the center of everything.  These fantasies were crushed upon arrival, if only for practical reasons.  Like there are no streets in Manhattan you can walk down the middle of alone and if there were, you couldn’t do it and not get hit by a car.  There are also no birds or squirrels in Brooklyn, only rats.  And if I ever have the time to buy Billie Holiday on vinyl plus a record player and then sit in my room with the exposed brick wall and sip a glass of wine while not doing work at the same time, I’ll let you know how it turns out.
This is not to say that I’m not finding what balance means, however.  When I’m not at work, I’m making the most of every single moment I have to myself.  This means a lot of lying on my bed and staring at the ceiling and relishing the feeling of doing absolutely nothing.  Granted, I could have done this in any city.  Really, I just need a friendly park bench to relish the feeling of doing nothing.  But I don’t think I’ve ever done nothing with such conviction as I do it now.  Thanks, world of finance.  Oh, I do other things, too.  Like go big or go home with my friends every weekend night.  Or wallow in the joy of my huevos rancheros Mexican Sunday brunch that I can have a food coma after because I don’t have to go back to work.  I even attend the occasional yoga class, though the dead man’s pose at the end is torture because my mind just goes to how I could be more efficient in using those 5 minutes.  So while I may not achieve balance in this job, I think I’m going to learn balance by being in New York.  And I can guarantee you, when I have more free time again, I will not take it for granted.