Archive for July, 2008

So it’s been 2 weeks in New York, 1 week at the new job, and I know you’ve been anticipating this.  Rightfully so.  I write on all my international adventures and as one of my friends noted, New York is practically a foreign country.
Job first.  After 4 full days of consulting indoctrination, I’m finally beginning to understand the idiotic industry lingo (see subject of this post.  I thought this referred to modem speed.  Apparently it means “do you have free time?”) and some of the basic tricks to Excel (did you know you can do more than just input numbers in those little roles and columns?  Ohhhh yeahhhhh).  They soften the blow of the information dump by feeding us extensively and then sending us to firm sponsored happy hours.  The great thing about this little perk is that it never goes away… firm happy hours are every Friday and I’ve heard rumors that some clients foot nightly happy hour bills.  Why?  Their answer is that the most important thing to do at the company is networking.  My answer is that everyone just really likes to drink, especially after the hours we work.
So what do I actually do?  Good question, but my guess at this point is subtle variations on the word “monkey.”  Like “powerpoint monkey.”  And “excel monkey.”  And “notetaking monkey.”  After my excel workshop today, however, I realized I don’t know anything about being an excel monkey, so it should be a valuable learning experience.  If nothing else, I’ll be able to set up your personal budget sheets and Final Four brackets so you’ll have less manual inputting to do.  Yay.
I do like the people, though, so at the very least, I’ll have a lot of fun.  I head off with 800 fresh young business analysts to Arizona next week where we will, no doubt, act like mature and responsible adults.  Hmm.
Outside of work, I’m successfully navigating the streets of both Manhattan and Brooklyn without muggings, stabbings, or other sketchy situations.  I take the train like a pro and have already learned to hate the sunburned Coney Island tourists that populate my B train when I’m trying to get to SoHo for classy $14 martinis.  And, of course, I’ve been exploring the restaurant scene (90% of the reason I came to New York?).  Highlights include the best pizza in New York, BYOB Indonesian, dim sum in Chinatown, and an Italian joint in Park Slope.  And for those of you hoping for a classic Laura-fall-down-go-boom story, I’m happy to report that my greatest injury thus far has been a blister from my very trendy red pumps.  Not too bad.  As for our apartment, it is lovely and quite spacious… great for visitors.  Now all I need is my furniture and I’ll truly live here.

This blog is dedicated to everyone who told me to write a book.  Books are so 1982.  Nobody does that anymore.  Especially because it’s 9000 times easier and 150000 times more self-indulgent to just write a blog.  Also, this blog is sort of about that time I moved to New York and became a consultant.  Except for the posts that aren’t about that at all.  Because some of the posts are just about my awkward life.  So, like, here you go.  Enjoy. Or don’t.  Just don’t tell me.  You’ll shatter my fragile self-esteem.